Professionals Weigh In On Zombie Apocalypse Theories

 

While we would all like to believe that the greatest minds in the world are busy each day thinking of new ways to solve the world’s biggest problems such as cure diseases, famine and national debt. Instead, they are coming up with theories on how the zombie apocalypse will begin and what we will need to do when it does hit.

At least they’re being productive?

Creating the Rage Virus

Dr. Samita Andreansky who is a virologist at the University of Miami recently spoke with National Geographic to talk about her recent studies. She told them that her research has led her to some very crucial conclusions that the world needs to know.

She believes that she has scientifically proven that the airborne rage virus from the movie 28 Days Later could be created and form a zombie apocalypse scenario. And she is pretty sure that she can make it happen. Dr. Andreansky believes that its theoretically possible to genetically engineer a hybrid of rabies, influenza, and Ebola that would make the Rage Virus a real thing. The rabies would make them act like zombies, influenza would make it airborne and the Ebola is just a special addition to make sure the zombies are bleeding from their guts. Wonderful.

A Recipe for Zombie Powder

But Dr. Andreansky is not alone with her theories. Wade Davis, who is a Harvard-trained ethnobotanist traveled throughout Haiti studying their folklore of zombies and he claims that he knows how to make one of his very own.

Davis went to various places in Haiti and convinced the Hoodoo men to teach him the magic formula for making zombies. He wrote everything down and tracked down one common ingredient that he things is the key, Every zombie powder uses a puffer fish that contains tetrodotoxins-a hallucinogenic drug that Davis claims can make a person go into a zombie-like state of mind.

David recreated the zombie powder in a lab and insists that he can now turn anybone into a mindless beast. He also says that zombies have been around for even longer than Haiti itself. Before they brought the formula to Haiti, Davis says witchdoctors would inject criminals with zombie powder as a death sentence, and zombies once roamed the wild lands of Africa.

 

Coming Face-to-Face with a Zombie

Writer Zora Neal Hurston is one of the most celebrated figures of the Harlem Renaissance and one of the greatest American authors. She’s also a firm believer in zombies. Hurston has gone on the record before saying “I know that there are Zombies in Haiti, People have been called back from the dead.”

This all started when Hurston was hired to study folk art, a job that sent her to Haiti to study hoodoo. She won over the trust of the hoodoo priests by performing their rites, including catching a cat and boiling it alive. Once in the fold, the priests introduced her to a zombie who, in life, was named Felicia Felix-Mentor. They told her they had risen her from the grave.

“The sight was dreadful. That blank face with the dead eyes,” Hurston said. “The sight of this wreckage was too much to endure for long.”

 

Neuroscientists Say Being a Zombie Wouldn’t Affect Your Brain. Good To Know!

Bradley Voytek and Timothy Vestynen were two neuroscientists who co-wrote a book on how turning into a zombie wouldn’t affect your brain. They concluded that the mutterings of zombies indicate damage to a part of the brain called the interior frontal gyrus. The zombies, they say, have suffered brain damage that makes them unable to speak articulately. And that makes it impossible for them to understand spoken language.

Their slow movement indicates damage to the basal ganglia tissues. They believe that zombies have the same kind of damage a person suffers from when they have Parkinson’s Disease.

 

Zombie Crocodiles

Harvard has their own theory on the entire matter. Their assistant professor of psychiatry, Dr. Steven Schlozman, has conducted research on zombie neuroscience and he has several theories.

He agrees with Voytek and Vestynen that they are suffering damage to the frontal lobe, but he says that we already have a model for zombies, which are…of course, crocodiles. Zombies, he argues, would be driven entirely by the amygdala, making them overcome by uncontrolled, basic emotions like anger. This incidentally is almost exactly how a crocodile’s brain works, so a zombie would behave exactly the same as they do.

“There would still be one difference, zombies”, Schlozma says, “have a malfunctioning ventromedial hypothalamus which is part of the brain that tells us when we’re full. So a zombie is like a crocodile that is doomed to eternally suffer the impellent pangs of hunger.”